So, take the following test presented here.
OK, relax, clear your mind and, lets begin.
Don't scroll down until you have the answer and don't cheat!
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1. What do you put in a toaster?
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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
(Click on 'Read more')
Sep 8, 2012
BABA IJEBU
A 90yr old woman won N10,000,000 in 'BABA IJEBU' loto & the family members were afraid to break the news to her.
Dr Akpors - a popular counselor & practicing medical personnel was consulted to professionally give her the news to avoid any casualties.
"Maam" he said "What will u do if u win N10,000,000?"
The woman replied,
"I'll give u half of the money"
Dr Akpors fainted!
Dr Akpors - a popular counselor & practicing medical personnel was consulted to professionally give her the news to avoid any casualties.
"Maam" he said "What will u do if u win N10,000,000?"
The woman replied,
"I'll give u half of the money"
Dr Akpors fainted!
CBJ AMEBO: WOMAN FALLS FROM THE SKY?
The house is behind Redeemed Christian Church of God, Eagle Island, Port Harcourt, Rivers State.
They said after she fell, she started crying and speaking a language nobody could understand.
Usually with stories like this we hear of mob action. But nobody tried to beat this woman. People were too scared to go near her. Thank God for that!
Some would remember story of 11 year old boy that was set ablaze some years back in Surulere, after some people claimed he fell from the sky?
Fashola arrested quite a number of people for his murder, but were all later released.
Do you believe this is true? Are there really flying witches at night? I'm short of words here.
CBJ AMEBO: BEAUTIFUL SAN BOLDO PASS (ITALY)
There are six tunnels blasted into the rock with hairpin turns or loops, and six bridges.
It is nicknamed the "Street of the 100 days" because of its short construction period.
ORDINARY WRAPPER, YOU NO FIT CLIMB...
A pretty lady got stranded, so she arrived Lagos at about 12 midnight. She come begin follow okada people wey still dey work late talk. One okada guy come finally agree to take her home so she can pass the night...
When dem reach the okada guy house, as na only one 6 spring bed dey there, the woman take her wrapper demarcate her side from the okada guy...
As day break finish, dem begin waka comot for house and the okada guy begin help the woman trace her final destination. Wind come blow the woman's scarf over the fence of a house by road side...
Na so the okada guy pack immediately.
Lady: Wetin happen?
Okada Guy: I dey try climb the fence to help you pick your scarf from inside that house...
Lady: Leave that thing abeg, ORDINARY WRAPPER DEY THERE FOR NIGHT WEY YOU NO FIT CLIMB, NA NOW YOU WON CLIMB FENCE? Make we dey go joor!
When dem reach the okada guy house, as na only one 6 spring bed dey there, the woman take her wrapper demarcate her side from the okada guy...
As day break finish, dem begin waka comot for house and the okada guy begin help the woman trace her final destination. Wind come blow the woman's scarf over the fence of a house by road side...
Na so the okada guy pack immediately.
Lady: Wetin happen?
Okada Guy: I dey try climb the fence to help you pick your scarf from inside that house...
Lady: Leave that thing abeg, ORDINARY WRAPPER DEY THERE FOR NIGHT WEY YOU NO FIT CLIMB, NA NOW YOU WON CLIMB FENCE? Make we dey go joor!
FUN + (LENGTHY BUT, FALLING OFF YOUR SIT GUARANTEED)
WITH LOVE FROM PHCN (An ordeal of a cyber cafe Operator)
PHCN = Power Holding Company of Nigeria
PHCN = NEPA
“These crazy people”
My boss huffed under his breath.
PHCN had done exactly what they knew how to do best.
The problem with this for me was that the cybercafé where I worked as an attendant was at the top floor of a three storeyed building.
Following a fire scare the previous year, the landlord had insisted that all generators were to be situated on the ground floor.
Meaning that each time someone’s fingers got itchy at PHCN, I would have to go down and climb back up an exhausting flight of stairs.
The problem with the absence of power for my boss was having to hear the customers moan and whinge, something, he had told me in confidence, he hated even more than PHCN (and my boss hated PHCN with more than a passion).
“Na wa o”, moaned a customer, as if on cue.
The computer he was using had gone off because the UPS it was connected to was bad.
“Upon all the money wey una dey collet for pesin hand, una no fit by korret GPS.”
“It’s called a UPS,” I heard my boss mutter before saying aloud to the man, “sorry sir, power will be back just as soon as we turn on the generator.”
PHCN = Power Holding Company of Nigeria
PHCN = NEPA
“These crazy people”
My boss huffed under his breath.
PHCN had done exactly what they knew how to do best.
The problem with this for me was that the cybercafé where I worked as an attendant was at the top floor of a three storeyed building.
Following a fire scare the previous year, the landlord had insisted that all generators were to be situated on the ground floor.
Meaning that each time someone’s fingers got itchy at PHCN, I would have to go down and climb back up an exhausting flight of stairs.
The problem with the absence of power for my boss was having to hear the customers moan and whinge, something, he had told me in confidence, he hated even more than PHCN (and my boss hated PHCN with more than a passion).
“Na wa o”, moaned a customer, as if on cue.
The computer he was using had gone off because the UPS it was connected to was bad.
“Upon all the money wey una dey collet for pesin hand, una no fit by korret GPS.”
“It’s called a UPS,” I heard my boss mutter before saying aloud to the man, “sorry sir, power will be back just as soon as we turn on the generator.”
Sep 7, 2012
COMMON SENSE
The people waiting to cross the road or the sheep using the pedestrian bridge?
CBJ AMEBO: REGISTER FOR WORLD MISS UNIVERSITY NIGERIA
Registration is currently going for the New Queen.
You can visit : www.wmunoc.net for more details.
CBJ AMEBO: CHRIS BROWN KISSES RIHANNA AT MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
COMMON INSCRIPTIONS FOUND ON NIGERIAN VEHICLES
1. Unmadi abu chukwu
2. Be careful many have gone
3. Horn before overtaking
4. Ka so layo
5. Let them say
6. Matagbamole 1
7. Oba bi olorun kosi
8. BRF fo govnor
9. Ijaya lomo,
10. kinihun alhaji,
11. No standing
12. Any die na die
13. No king as God
Keep it rolling...
2. Be careful many have gone
3. Horn before overtaking
4. Ka so layo
5. Let them say
6. Matagbamole 1
7. Oba bi olorun kosi
8. BRF fo govnor
9. Ijaya lomo,
10. kinihun alhaji,
11. No standing
12. Any die na die
13. No king as God
Keep it rolling...
CBJ AMEBO: AGBANI DAREGO LAUNCHES PERSONAL WEBSITE
Check it out: http://agbanidarego.com/
Sep 6, 2012
FUN+
10 mad men were locked up in a chicken yard.
9 of them started Jumping up and down and screaming.
However, one of them was just sitting quietly at one corner of the yard!
Doctor Akpors on seeing this went towards him, and whispered,
"I'm glad for you, I can see that it's only you among these 10 patients who has regained mental sanity... Now we'll discharge you soon."
The man quickly replied,
"Hey!!! Shhhhhh!!!... keep quiet, am trying to lay eggs here."
LOBATAN!
9 of them started Jumping up and down and screaming.
However, one of them was just sitting quietly at one corner of the yard!
Doctor Akpors on seeing this went towards him, and whispered,
"I'm glad for you, I can see that it's only you among these 10 patients who has regained mental sanity... Now we'll discharge you soon."
The man quickly replied,
"Hey!!! Shhhhhh!!!... keep quiet, am trying to lay eggs here."
LOBATAN!
CBJ AMEBO: MAN KILLED FOR RITUAL BY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS
From TUNDE RAHEEM Akure
Detectives from Ondo State Police Command are investigating the mystery behind the bizarre act of three highly placed personalities that killed their childhood friend for ritual sacrifice.
The suspects are Chief Babatunde Olumofe, who works for a bottling company based in Lagos; Mr. Sunday Akeju; and another PERSON simply identified as Eso.
They were all said to be childhood friends and own their personal houses on the same street in Ikorodu, a suburb of Lagos.
Detectives from Ondo State Police Command are investigating the mystery behind the bizarre act of three highly placed personalities that killed their childhood friend for ritual sacrifice.
The suspects are Chief Babatunde Olumofe, who works for a bottling company based in Lagos; Mr. Sunday Akeju; and another PERSON simply identified as Eso.
They were all said to be childhood friends and own their personal houses on the same street in Ikorodu, a suburb of Lagos.
EFIKO!
Class Teacher: "Differentiate between Biology and Sociology"
Akpors: "If a new born baby looks like his father, it is 'Biology', but if he looks like his neighbor, then, it is called 'Sociology'"
The result is yet to come out.
What do u think Akpors would score? Rate in % (Total of 100%)
Akpors: "If a new born baby looks like his father, it is 'Biology', but if he looks like his neighbor, then, it is called 'Sociology'"
The result is yet to come out.
What do u think Akpors would score? Rate in % (Total of 100%)
CBJ AMEBO: JOEL SET TO DROP DEBUT ALBUM
FUN+ (Note that this is meant to be a JOKE)
Shinji Kagawa who doesn't speak good English, prepares answers in advance for interviews after match!
*One post match interview*
Reporter: "Kagawa, it's fantastic, your wife is pregnant. I must say congratulations!"
Kagawa: "Yes, all credits go to my team mates. Everyone worked hard for it especially Ryan Gigs .It was a tight situation when he came in, his performance was great especially with Scholes in the middle. Our coach also enjoyed it. Special thanks for Carrick for finding space from impossibly tight angles. It wouldn't have been possible without him."
LOBATAN!
*One post match interview*
Reporter: "Kagawa, it's fantastic, your wife is pregnant. I must say congratulations!"
Kagawa: "Yes, all credits go to my team mates. Everyone worked hard for it especially Ryan Gigs .It was a tight situation when he came in, his performance was great especially with Scholes in the middle. Our coach also enjoyed it. Special thanks for Carrick for finding space from impossibly tight angles. It wouldn't have been possible without him."
LOBATAN!
LET'S PAINT THE SCENE HERE
So they are back to his house and she wants to go home early.
What do you think she is saying to him right now?
Holler back!!!
CBJ AMEBO: JAPANESE CHEF COOKS AND SERVES HIS OWN GENITALS
This story is not for the faint of heart. News video below.
Mao Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month, Calorie Lab reported.
In most cases, “asexual” is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.
Sugiyama sparked a firestorm of interest on April 8 with one tweet: “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location.”
Mao Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month, Calorie Lab reported.
In most cases, “asexual” is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.
Sugiyama sparked a firestorm of interest on April 8 with one tweet: “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location.”
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