Jan 25, 2013

GARY THE GOAT WALKS FREE FROM COURT AFTER BEATING FLOWER-EATING RAP

A flower-eating goat named Gary has been cleared of vandalism after an Australian judge dismissed the case at a court in Sydney.
His owner Jim Dezarnaulds had been ordered to pay a 440 Australian dollar (£290) fine after Gary was spotted snacking on a flower bed outside the city’s Museum of Contemporary Art.
The case was dismissed however, after a judge ruled that neither Gary nor his owner could be held accountable for the crime.



Magistrate Carolyn Barkell said there was no evidence that Gary, who had his own lawyer, had been brought there to intentionally eat the flowers.
‘This is actually an abuse of the laws of nature, I mean it was a goat eating grass,’ Mr Dezarnaulds said after the verdict was announced.
‘I’m a comedian, I can come up with jokes, but it’s pretty hard to compete with cops coming up with this stuff.
‘It’s obviously a joke, but the fact that we’re here it’s gone a bit beyond a joke.’
Gary, who was not required to give evidence, did not comment on the verdict upon leaving court.
Mr Dezarnaulds added: ‘Gary taught the cops a valuable lesson and that’s don’t bite off more than you can chew.’
Gary became an internet star after news of his plight went viral, with his official Facebook page racking up over 10,000 likes.

MORE THAN 15,000 CROCODILES ESCAPE FROM SOUTH AFRICA REPTILE FARM

More than 15,000 crocodiles have escaped from a reptile farm in South Africa amid heavy flooding.


The runaway crocs are on the loose in and around one of the African country’s biggest rivers following a prolonged period of extreme wet weather conditions.
Rakwena Crocodile Farm was forced to open its gates over fears rushing flood water would crush the crocodiles.
‘There used to be only a few crocodiles in the Limpopo River. Now there are a lot,’ explained Zane Langman, a son-in-law of the farm’s owner.
‘I heard there were crocodiles in Musina [about 120km away] on the school’s rugby field.
‘When we reached them, the crocodiles were swimming around them. Praise the Lord, they were all alive.’
More than half of the reptiles have been recaptured following the floods which have led to the evacuation of thousands of residents in Mozambique and South Africa .

Jan 22, 2013

CBJ FLAUNT YOUR TALENT (TALENT HUNT)

Central Bank of Jokes
CBJ Flaunt Your Talent

PREAMBLE


Inspired by the spirit of jokes and the archetypical feat of comedy shows in Nigeria, this year the Central Bank of Jokes (CBJ) will be anchoring many ceremonies, including weddings, and events in general. To this end, we want to hunt for stand-up comedy talents to join our team immediately.

Titled CBJ FLAUNT YOUR TALENT the exercise is intended to serve as a channel through which the best stand-up comedy talents will be hired to work with the CBJ Team.

PURPOSE: To create opportunities for people with stand-up comedy talents

DESCRIPTION/INSTRUCTIONS

CBJ Flaunt Your Talent is a non-discriminatory means of scouting for the best stand-up comedians to join the CBJ Team. Intending contestants will be required to follow these steps orderly:

1) Pay application fee of N2,500 to:
Account Name: BRAINSTED GLOBAL RESOURCES LTD
Account Number: 0015130962
Bank Name: Ecobank Plc, GRA Ogudu Branch, Ojota, Lagos State

2) Register on YouTube if you don’t have an account there already, and upload your five-minute amateur joke there. Your video does not have to be a professional video. You can even use your mobile phones or any other handheld device or your webcam to do the recording. All we want to see is your 'swag', which is very easy to do!

3) Visit https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?fromEmail=true&formkey=dERJQ2pHVkp1RUR1VUx6OU5BYndLNlE6MQ to register for the competition by providing the link to your five-minute jokes on YouTube. Make sure that the name you have on the payment teller is the same as the one you fill on the form. Indicate your TELLER NUMBER clearly on the form (there is a column for this on the form).

4) Wait for email response from CBJ within 21 working days.
NOTE: Ensure that you make payment to the bank before applying for the contest otherwise your application will not be treated.

PROPOSED TIME-TABLE

1) Registration starts immediately and ends on February 28, 2013.

2) Auditioning will start immediately and end March 30, 2013 — this will be on 'first come, first served' basis.

AUDITIONING DYNAMICS & DETAILS

CBJ Flaunt Your Talent allows participation from any part of the country. We believe many people can participate in this hunt through their handheld devices, mobile phones or other Internet enabled platforms.

The following prizes are available for the winners:

First Prize — N100,000 Cash and an opportunity to join CBJ Stand-up Comedians Team

Second Prize — N50,000 Cash and an opportunity to join CBJ Stand-up Comedians Team

Third Prize — N25,000 Cash and an opportunity to join CBJ Stand-up Comedians Team

This is an attempt to take the industry to the next level. We desire to be able to add new talents to the industry. The winners of the hunt will become CBJ Stand-up Comedians who will be anchoring various events, wedding ceremonies, end of the parties, birthday event, across the country on behalf of the CBJ Team.

REGISTRATION LINK:
Visit https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/viewform?fromEmail=true&formkey=dERJQ2pHVkp1RUR1VUx6OU5BYndLNlE6MQ

For more information, call:

CBJ Gov: +1 940 337 8623
CBT Team Manager: +234 702 613 3797
...............................................................................
CBJ PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
CBJ TWITTER HANDLE: @CenBankofJokes
CBJ BLOG: http://centralbankofjokes.blogspot.com/