BACK IN THE DAYS: SEGUN ARINZE

Picture of Segun Arinze back in the days

CBJ AMEBO: WICKED!!! NEW BORN TWINS FOUND AT REFUSE DUMP IN ANAMBRA STATE

How wicked can someone be to allow these young, innocent ones to die?

When some people are looking for who to call their own, some people are throwing theirs away.

May God forgive the mother.

If you have further information about this story please share it with us.

CAUTION: UNCENSORED pic after the cut (Viewers discretion advised)

Click on 'Read more' to see the UNCENSORED pic.

CBJ AMEBO: LAGBAJA COMES OUT WITHOUT HIS MASK?

Nigeria’s famous masked musician, Lagbaja, has been unmasked?

Someone leaked this picture online recently but there is so much controversy surrounding it.

Many people are of the opinion that Lagbaja is a dark skin man, coupled with some other qualities that do not match the guy on the right.

What do you think? Could this really be the Lagbaja that almost everyone has been looking forward to see without his mask on?

CBJ AMEBO: ALLEGED YAHOO BOY RUNS MAD IN IKEJA AFTER ALIGHTING FROM HIS RANGE ROVER SUV

Yesterday, a young man who is rumoured to be involved in internet scams popularly called Yahoo Yahoo ran mad immediately after alighting from his  Range Rover SUV

The story says that,

“the man jumped down from his Range Rover and ran mad. Within few minutes, people gathered at the scene. He started displaying series of madness, pulled off his clothes, saying different irrelevant things.”

Other sources added that he defecated on himself and chased people around.

The young man is strongly rumoured to be a ‘Yahoo-yahoo boy’ – a street slang for boys involved in Internet scam. But that fact has not been ascertained yet, as his case could well be of something else.

BONANZA!

Xmas is at the corner, prepare in advance.

POINT & KILL XMAS SHOES FOR SALE

50% discount on all sales

HURRY NOW!!! DON'T MISS IT!

To order, call Akpors: 080 BATA NONI

KAI... CHILDREN OF NOWADAYS

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

A grade 5 teacher asked her students to make rhymes with their names.

Sam:
My name is Sam.

When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to Japan.
If I can, If I can.

Candy:
My name is Candy.
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby.
If I can, if I can.

Dan:
My name is Dan.
When I grow up to be a man,
To hell with Japan,
I'm gonna help Candy with her plan.
I know I can, I know I can.

VILLAGE FIGHT

Make una talk true. How many of una don do this kin village fight before?

Eki baby (Carrying stone): Oya tosh me again.

Ify baby: No... you push me first.

For una wey don get experience, WHO GO WIN THIS FIGHT?

ATM RESPONSE AFTER AKPORS' BALANCE REQUEST

lol

PROBABLY FOR THOSE OF US WHO GREW UP IN THE VILLAGE

How many can remember this?

AKPORS AGAIN!!!

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

Musa: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

Akpos: Of course, my dog!

Musa: Why your dog?

Akpos: Yes naa, my dog will shut up once I let him in...

FINALLY, EKAITTE’S FATHER REPLIES AKPOS’ LOVE LETTER TO HIS DAUGHTER…

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

Dear Akpos,

If time and ability has forsees your pens to enerjetikally dance on your benedicted shit of paper, I wants to telling you that your love leta have provoke my annoy and I will make swor that I divide your laif into three becurse of your nunsencika leta to my doter, and I will take one, geef one to my doter, and trow the remainy in the boosh at the back of behiand my house.

Let this be last time your pen will romans your benedicted shit of paper to rait my doter, ok!

Wit grait provoking annoy from me,
 

Baba Ekaitte

THERE IS A CHEAP QUIZ FOR YOU

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

I need to tell you a little about it

The first man to solve this quiz became Nigeria’s President, and that’s no other person but the man whose face you can compare to Taribo West’s face… I no mention anybody’s name here o!

Here is the quiz:

Is it True or False that WHEN WHISTLING WITH YOUR MOUTH, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH?

Try it and let’s read your answers…

GEEEEEEEZZZZ!!!

Saw this pic and was like GEEEEEEEEZZZ!!!

CRAZY or PATRIOTIC?

OH AKPORS

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

Akpors just got a job as a porter in a five star hotel in Abuja.

The manager told him:

"...in here we give every customer personalized services and you have to be very observant so you know how to address their every need even before they ask"

Before the manager could finish, a couple walked through the hotel entrance and the manager quickly approached them, nicely took their baggage and said,

"Welcome Mr & Mrs James, it is our delight to have you in our hotel. Please come this way to the reception"

... and he led them to the reception.

After the couple had been taken care of, Akpors asked the manager,

"Has the couple been visiting this hotel before?"

"No" came the reply from the manager.

"So how come you knew their name?" asked Akpors.

"That is why I told you to be very observant. All I had to do was quickly look at the label on their baggage while I'm taking it from them and see the name on the tag".

"Oh, here comes another couple. Why don't you give it a try?"

"Ok" said Akpos and he hurriedly approached the couple, helped them with their luggage and said,

"Welcome Mr & Mrs SUPERIOR HAND MADE LEATHER! We are delighted to have you in our hotel..."

The manager fainted=))=))
................................................................................................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & INDEPENDENCE DAY TO NIGERIA(NS)

CBJ FB: https://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
CBJ TWITTER: @CenBankofJokes

CAUTION: HELMET & MAJOR PROTECTION NEEDED

Hon Patrick

Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon had this to say on Nigeria’s independence celebrations.

“As we celebrate our flag and shambolic autarky at 52, we must realize that Nigeria is still more of a geographic co

ntrivance as has been rightly posited by Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Not with our centrifugal excrescences preponderating over our centripetal proclivities. It’s a matter for mental pabulum that we are daily drifting into our ethnic cocoons. We still remain one country with disparate ethnic agendas and I can say it for the umpteenth time again that we must sit down in a sovereign national colloquy to discuss the basis for our nationhood. Anything short of this is just vacuous scahiamachy.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY & INDEPENDENCE DAY TO NIGERIA(NS)
CBJ FB: https://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
CBJ TWITTER: @CenBankofJokes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR COUNTRY (NIGERIA)

My pride

 +234 is her code, she sits at the heart of Africa.

GREEN and WHITE are her colors.

They call her the giant of Africa.

Yes, she's got issues as any important personality will do 'coz of the attention she attracts from so many.

She just turned 52 and so many feel she's reached COUNTRYPAUSE (MENOPAUSE) and can't produce good things anymore.

It took many of her counterparts centuries to produce offspring:

GREAT BRITAIN became great after becoming a grandfather.

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA became united at the "Methuselah's" age.

She's still undergoing the 'growing' process.

TO ALL NIGERIANS,

Remember, no matter how far you travel, wherever you find yourself, wherever the struggle for a better life takes you.

No matter the situation on ground.

NIGERIA IS STILL OUR BABY! and her growth is up to us.

Remember this is who we are:

~ STRONG

~ SURVIVOR

~ SMART

~ JUST

~ PRUDENT

~ GREENWHITEGREEN

Soon, many will scale heights to obtain the GREEN passport.

Many will want to marry my children and grand children to be called GREEN.

Come rain, come shine,

I'll always be proud to be BLACK

I'll always be proud to fly GREEN

I'll always be proud to be a NIGERIAN

I'll always be proud to be called AFRICAN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIGERIA!!!!

MY COUNTRY, MY COLOR, MY PRIDE, MY NIGERIA!

GOD BLESS YOU, GOD BLESS ME, GOD BLESS NIGERIA and GOD BLESS AFRICA!!!!

......................................................................................
CBJ FB: https://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
CBJ TWITTER: @CenBankofJokes

FALL NONI

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)

A Community pastor was getting tired of hearing his congregation confess of adultery every time.

So, he told the community to adopt saying they have "fallen" & not go into details.

(As he would understand)

The old Pastor died & Pastor Akpors - a new pastor from outside the town was sworn in.

Everyday people go to him & say they have fallen.

Pastor Akpors being concerned & not knowing what's going on called the village chief & said to him,

"I think u should get the pavements fixed, people tell me that they have fallen everyday."

The Chief laughed hysterically knowing exactly what it means.

"Don't laugh" says Pastor Akpors.

"Your wife fell 7 times this week"

The chief fainted.

CBJ AMEBO: OBA OF BENIN HONOURS 2FACE, UTI NWACHUKWU, OTHERS

Uti and 2face

Hardwork, perseverance and dedication to one’s art will always be recognized sooner or later. Not minding his relatively young age or state of origin, the Oba of Benin Kingdom, Oba Uku Akpolokpolo Erediauwa yesterday in Benin, Edo state gave honour to whom it was due as he recognized and honored African pop icon Innocent “2face” Idibia.

The event which celebrated the ‘Oba of Benin as a Preserver’ was attended by a number of personalities including Big Brother Africa winner Uti Nwachukwu and Nollywood movie producer Lancelot Imaseun Oduwa amongst others.

The 37-year-old musician who was one of few personalities so honoured by the Oba, was given two wrist bands made of beads.

A very excited 2face took to his Twitter page to show off his beads while he wrote;
 
‘Oba of Benin just gave me some royal beads! I’m so excited and honoured! One love 2 Benin kingdom’.

 2 BABA, U GET MOUTH DIE!

CBJ AMEBO: MAYD THE CONFAM MAN POZES WITH NEW CAR

MayD

He recently launched his own record label, Confam Entertainment and got himself a 2011 Nissan Maxima with customized number plate - May D

CONFAM MAN!! CHOP KNUCKLE!!!

CBJ AMEBO: MEN ARE SCARED STIFF TO ASK ME OUT - KAREN IGHO

Karen

Co-winner of the sixth season of Africa’s biggest reality competition ‘Big Brother Africa’ 2011, Karen Igho has challenged men to approach her, she said she is certainly not a hard knot to crack when it comes to falling in love.

"I'm a woman who desires to be loved and wooed by the opposite sex. Men are supposed to woo me. I’m a woman and I’m very soft. They shouldn’t be scared of asking me out. I want a decent man, and not any kind of man,” the Edo State born entertainer said.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR COUNTRY (NIGERIA)

My pride

+234 is her code, she sits at the heart of Africa.

GREEN and WHITE are her colors.

They call her the giant of Africa.

Yes, she's got issues as any important personality will do 'coz of the attention she attracts from so many.

She just turned 52 and so many feel she's reached COUNTRYPAUSE (MENOPAUSE) and can't produce good things anymore.

It took many of her counterparts centuries to produce offspring:

GREAT BRITAIN became great after becoming a grandfather.

UNITED STATES OF AMERICA became united at the "Methuselah's" age.

She's still undergoing the 'growing' process.

TO ALL NIGERIANS,

Remember, no matter how far you travel, wherever you find yourself, wherever the struggle for a better life takes you.

No matter the situation on ground.

NIGERIA IS STILL OUR BABY! and her growth is up to us.

Remember this is who we are:

~ STRONG

~ SURVIVOR

~ SMART

~ JUST

~ PRUDENT

~ GREENWHITEGREEN

Soon, many will scale heights to obtain the GREEN passport.

Many will want to marry my children and grand children to be called GREEN.

Come rain, come shine,

I'll always be proud to be BLACK
I'll always be proud to fly GREEN
I'll always be proud to be a NIGERIAN
I'll always be proud to be called AFRICAN

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIGERIA!!!!

MY COUNTRY, MY COLOR, MY PRIDE, MY NIGERIA!

GOD BLESS YOU, GOD BLESS ME, GOD BLESS NIGERIA and GOD BLESS AFRICA!!!!
.........................................................................................
CBJ FB: https://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
CBJ TWITTER: @CenBankofJokes

CBJ AMEBO: 20-YEAR-OLD BRAZILIAN CATARINA MIGLIORINI AUCTIONING HER VIRGINITY – BIDDING UP TO $160,000

Catarina Migliorini

Catarina Migliorini is auctioning off her virginity in what she is calling a business move.

The virginity will be lost as a part of an Australian documentary called Virgins Wanted, produced by Thomas William.

The young woman will get a large portion of the funds raised for her virginity, but most prove that she is a virgin and have an examination.

She also must pass a health test along with the winner of the contest, because no condom will be used.

The Internet bidding reached $160,000 placed by Jack Miller on September 28th.

The auction ends Oct. 15. She says she wants to help the poor with some of the money made.

WONDERS WILL NEVER END!

CBJ FACE OF THE WEEK: PHATOSA OLUMUYIWA AYOKANMI

PROFILE:
~ EVENT MANAGER, NIGERIA @ 50 GALA NIGHT
~ ARTIST COORDINATOR NIGERIA @ 50 VARIETY NIGHT
~ CREATIVE DIRECTOR, EVENT 360
~ CREATIVE DIRECTOR, KAMA (KOGI ACHIEVERS MERIT AWARDS)

HEIGHT: 5'11

FB LINK: https://www.facebook.com/phatosa

PHONE NUMBER: +2347069383668