Nov 10, 2012

WHAT A WORLD!!

This is a real story of a young ex-Unilag girl who passed away last month.

Her name was Lola.

She was hit by a car at Oyingbo on her way to work at Apapa.

She was working for MTN.

She had a boy friend named Emeka, a banker who was recently transferred to Abuja.

Both of them were true lovers.

She spent half of the day and most nights talking with Emeka on her phone.

Lola's family knew about their relationship.

Emeka was very close with Lola's family in spite of the tribal differences. (just imagine their love).

Before she passed away at LUTH, she told her friends,

"If I pass away, please bury me with my cell phone".

She also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death at LUTH, the attendants couldn't carry her body to the mortuary.

A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't.

They went and called some priests in church who had the gift of communicating with the dead.

They sprinkled some salt and water on the body and started speaking to himself slowly.

After a few minutes, they said,

"this girl misses something here".

Then her friends told them about her intentions to bury her with her phone.

They asked them to bring a coffin, and then they opened it and placed her phone inside the casket.

After that they tried to carry the body.

It could now be moved and they carried it away easily.

Everyone was shocked.

A day later which was Lola's birthday, Emeka came to their house with gifts but was so shocked to receive d news.

He couldn't believe because he still spoke with Lola d previous day, he then tried calling her phone again in their presence and behold d phone rang and Lola picked it and they were chatting.

They called d priest to come and intervene and when he came and prayed for 5 hours, it was revealed dat:

"MTN is everywhere u GO"

Please don't shoot us yet cos we're also looking for d person dat sent dis to us, so we can strangle him too.. Hehehehehehe

We sef sidon read am like person wey dey prepare for JAMB seriously.

Make una no vex ko? Hehehehehehe

But kai, una too sef like tori...

Enjoy!

Nov 8, 2012

OWAMBE

Please join us as we celebrate another 4years in office with my
brother Barrack Hussein Abayomi Oyedeji Oluwagbemileke Obama. Gele &
ipele - ₦7,500, Fila - ₦5,000, Ankara - ₦12,000. Ping 2*****F7 for
more details.

Performing artists:
1. Dele Akani A.K.A Akon
2. Jejelaye Zulu A.K.A Jay-Z,
3. Kehinde West A.K.A kenye West,
4. Akolawole Chris Adamu Brown A.K.A Chris Brown
5. Rihanat Salawa A.K.A Rihanna,
6. Ganiyat Iyaladuke A.K.A Beyoncé,
7. Raphael Kelechi A.K.A R.Kelly,
8. Adenike Amina Idi-araba A.K.A Nicki Minaj,
9. Ayefele Nasiru A.K.A NAS.

Eni tio wo ankara oleje semo...
English translation; he who doesn't wear the 'ankara' fabric won't eat
semo(vita)

DJ: Akpors Nigeria Plc

Nov 6, 2012

AKPORS DEY FOLLOW INSTRUCTION DIE!!!

Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ)
Akpors' elder brother, Rukewe, travelled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpors, their aged mom & their pet cat, kelly.

Last week Rukewe called from London to know how they're doing...

RUKEWE: Akpors how una dey now, how kelly?

AKPORS: Kelly done die.

RUKEWE (after a pause): Akpors u for use small small reveal dis kin bad news na. U for jus say d cat fall inside well but neighbors de try comot am. Den when I call again, u go say e break neck small but vet doctor dey try revive am. Den when i call again, u go say dem try their best but dem no fit save am. Na so dem dey reveal bad news in a mature way. u hear me?

AKPORS: Yes bros.

RUKEWE: Ok. how mama na?

AKPORS: Bros. mama sef fall inside well o, but neighbors dey try comot am.

(Phone cuts)

Rukewe has been admitted in a private hospital in London after going into coma.

Nov 4, 2012

HURRICANE SANDY

Here's a telephone conversation between a man in Hurricane ravaged New York and his friend in Lagos.

Lagos: I hope u guys are safe?

NY: Man all hell is breaking loose out here!

Lagos: What's going on?

NY: There is flooding everywhere

Lagos: Big deal we're used to that!

NY: People are dying man!

Lagos: We're used to that too!

NY: Look man the power's out we're in darkness!

Lagos: Welcome to our world!

NY: People can't get around no public transport.

Lagos: We just banned Okada too

NY: The phone lines are out too, I'm having to use my mobile

Lagos: Me too!

NY: The police and Emergency services are overwhelmed we don't feel safe from criminals taking advantage of the situation!

Lagos: Neither do we!

NY: Hey man did Hurricane Sandy hit u guys too?

Lagos: Na today? Since Independence oh.

MAMA AKPORS DON VEX

She say lai lai, why mama Ekaitte go dey point her shoe inside church.

CBJ FACE OF THE WEEK: STELLA BASSY (CEO "WEAR IT" FASHION HOUSE/MODEL)




PROFESSION: CEO "Wear It" Fashion House/Model
~ Deal in men wears, shoes, perfumes, facial modelling, cover pages, calenders, bill boards etc.
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