"EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE"
True or False?
Oct 27, 2012
CBJ AMEBO: MAN "WALKS" ON WATER WITH BARE FOOT IN LONDON
river thames.
The nifty footwork was a suitably jaw-dropping publicity stunt for his
new Tv series.
The Bradford-born illusionist, 28, made it halfway across the stretch
of river in front of the house of parliament in London before he was
picked up by what appeared to be a River police boat.
Stunned onlookers watched from Westminster bridge as the magician
recorded the stunt for his new Tv show, Dynamo: Magician Impossible.
CONFAM BUSINESS CENTER
Can u type ur projects, CV etc here?
LMAO...
TEN TIPS TO SURVIVE WITHOUT OKADA IN LAGOS
Now that Fashola has decided to ban Okada on Lagos roads and suggested
people start trekking, here are some few tips that will help you cope
without the usual quick bike rides to ur daily destinations.
10. Buy shoe protectors, replace as the need arises.
9. In relation to number 10, carry an extra pair of foot wear
(preferably slippers) in your bag (men inclusive). That bag should
also carry the following: a small umbrella, water bottle and small
chops to go.
8. Wear casual clothes to work, change into your official clothes at
work, then change back to the casual clothes for the journey back
home. You don't have to look too official while trekking.
7. For the ladies, this is the time to smile from ear to ear with that
ugly male colleague who drives a car and lives near your residence.
6. For the guys, buy a car before your girlfriend's colleague starts
to take her home.
5. Save the money for your gym membership, you are getting enough
exercise already.
4. Start trekking groups in your office, class, church, mosque etc.
After all it is said that a trek trekked with companions is no trek at all.
3. Learn how to entertain yourself.
in your own space. Stock up on game consoles, books, magazines,
movies, read jokes on CBJ etc. Pay that DSTV subscription too.
2. As the crime rate increases due to the okada ban, buy a gun.
1. If none of the above works, pack go your village.
0. If you are an Okada owner, join up with other colleagues and
establish Formula 1 Naija Bike Racing.
Ekoo oni ba je o... Obaje ti!.
Oct 26, 2012
SEE EHN... MAKE UNA BONE TALKS ABEG.. THIS SALLAH NO BE HERE O...
Akpors everywhere mehn.
Fish him out in this pix... Joor ooo... Hehehehehehehe
OH GOD, LEAD US NOT INTO AKPORS
Akpors: Because we cannot eat water.
Akpors puts his radio inside the freezer so he can listen to COOL FM!!!
Teacher: Akpors what Is the name for baby lizard?
Apkors: Lizzy baby.
Teacher: Akpors how was ur night?
Akpors: I don't know ma, I was sleeping.
Boss: I'll pay u N30,000/month & in 3 months, I'll raise it to
N60,000. When would u like to start?
Akpors: In 3 months sir.
Police: Where do u live?
Akpors: With my parents.
Police: Where do ur parents live?
Akpors: With me.
Police (now seriously pissed off): Ok ok, so where you all live?
Akpors: Together.
Akpors trying to commit suicide..
Ambali: Why do u have d rope on ur waist?
Akpors: Ahhh, d last time I tried it on my neck, I nearly died.
Teacher: What do we have after 69?
Akpors: Mouthwash sir.
Teacher: Get out of my class, Idiot.
Teacher: In which battle did Napoleon die?..
Akpors: His last battle
Teacher: The process of developing from a child to an Adult is called?
Akpors: ADULTERY
SALLAH SWAGS (To match leleyi o...)
In the picture below, identify Mallam Akpors. Lol
UPDATING STATUS
status... Hehehehehe
What could probably be their status updates?
LMAO
Oct 25, 2012
LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURN EXPLAINED
 |
| Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ) |
Original List (age 22):
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover
Revised List (age 32):
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
Revised List (age 42):
1. Not too ugly (bald head OK)
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady -- splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
Revised List (age 52):
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers my name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
Revised List (age 62):
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend
Revised List (age 72):
1. Breathing
2. Doesn't miss the toilet
Oct 24, 2012
KUDOS TO CBJ TECHNICAL DEPT.
According to a statement released by the Chief Engineer - Mr Akpors
Jobs, this is a major technological breakthrough.
Hurry now while stock last.
For more info, call customer care at: 080 DISH NONI
LMAO...
TRUE BEAUTY OF NAIJA
This cute twin are dressed in Naija local fabric called "ASO OKE" or "ASO OFI"?
Say something about this.
GOD BLESS NIGERIA
Oct 23, 2012
AKPORS NA CASE
 |
| Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ) |
Akpors: My heart is a mobile phone & you'яe its SIM.
Girl: Oh God! I am so lucky...
Akpors said silently to himself,
'mumu girl, she doesn't know that my mobile phone uses two sim cards.'
Oct 22, 2012
SALLAH THINGZ
Ofcourse u know who's traveling for Sallah already.
Our one and only ...................! (Fill the blank)
Oct 21, 2012
LIVE UPDATE - HAPPENING NOW (BRO AKPORS)
 |
| Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ) |
During testimony time in church this morning, 16 yrs old pastor's daughter stood up and says,
'Praise the lord'.
Everybody shouted,
'Halleluyah'.
She continue....
'Since the tender age of 13, I've been experiencing monthly period with so much pain but now after a series of Bible studies and prayers with Bro Akpors - our Sunday school teacher in his house, my monthly periods have ceased for more than 3 months now. You can see I'm even getting fatter and prettier. Praise the lord.'
THE PASTOR FAINTED.
We'll bring update as soon as the pastor gets up from coma.
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