Photos shows the tires of the aircraft after it landed safely in Lagos.
Culled: Sahara Reporters
Sep 29, 2012
CBJ AMEBO: PHOTONEWS (QATAR AIRWAYS CRASHLANDS AT LAGOS AIRPORT
Photos shows the tires of the aircraft after it landed safely in Lagos.
Culled: Sahara Reporters
Sep 28, 2012
CBJ AMEBO: 24 YEAR OLD ARRESTED AT MURTALA MUHAMMED INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN LAGOS FOR TRYING TO SMUGGLE OUT $7MILLION(N1,120,000BILLION).
The
Economic and Financial Crimes Commission on Friday confirmed the arrest
of a 24-year old suspect, Abubakar Tijani Sheriff, at Murtala Muhammed
International Airport in Lagos for trying to smuggle out $7million(N1,120,000billion).
The arrested bulk currency smuggler, who was arrested on Thursday, was attempting to take the $7million, suspected to be for money laundering purpose to Dubai on behalf of 20 Nigerians whom he has not named.
The arrested bulk currency smuggler, who was arrested on Thursday, was attempting to take the $7million, suspected to be for money laundering purpose to Dubai on behalf of 20 Nigerians whom he has not named.
CBJ AMEBO: 65-YEAR OLD GRANDMA ARRESTED WITH COCAINE
Hassan Fatimat Abike, was reported to be ready to board a British Airways plane at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos, southwest Nigeria, when she was arrested with substances suspected to be cocaine.
Sep 27, 2012
OH AKPORS!!!
 |
| Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ) |
Teacher: Who is the president of Nigeria?
Akpors: I don't know madam.
Teacher: U need to focus more on your studies.
Akpors: Please madam, can I ask u a few questions?
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Akpors: Do u know Rita?
Teacher: No.
Akpors: Do u know Joy?
Teacher: No.
Akpors: Do u know Kate?
Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do u ask?
Akpors: You need to Focus more on your husband.
LOBATAN!
CBJ AMEBO: TERRY G SAYS BYE BYE TO HIS FAMOUS DREADS
 |
| Terry G |
Popular Nigerian artiste Terry G, has made away with his Dreads.
The ginger and akpako master is not the
only artiste, who in recent times made away with his Dread, as Timaya
and Waconzy both chopped theirs off, and Basket Mouth remixed his own to
a dread mo-hawk.
WEDDING THINGS
 |
| Wedding thinz |
The Keke Napep seems to be gaining ground as a fun wedding ride..... Interesting.
It's Akpors' wedding, which of these rides fits him?
It's Akpors' wedding, which of these rides fits him?
LOL
SHINE YAH EYES
 |
| Central Bank of Jokes(CBJ) |
He came to Lagos & had plans of marrying a neighbor's daughter Ekaitte.
He got to a hotel to book a room for them to meet & decided to call Ekaitte.
Akpors: Dearie I'm trying to get a room for us, I'm at Woodridge hotel.
Ekaitte: No don't, it's too expensive and the facilities not worth that cash, check Hotel Excel, it is better but Kayriott is the best.
Akpors: Ok, I'll try Kayriott.
Ekaitte: When u get to Kayriott don't take room 112, the bed is not strong enough & if they give u room 214, don't take it, cause the AC is not good. Room 312 is better but the hot side of the shower is bad. However try room 411, although it's hard to open the door most time. Better still just take room 510.
AKPORS FAINTED!
HOTEL NONI
How much can you pay to sleep in this hotel with free Animal Planet - Discovery Channel?
LOL
LOL
CBJ AMEBO: LADY WITH RARE BIRTH DEFECT BECOMES FIRST PILOT WITHOUT ARMS LICENSED TO FLY
 |
| Jessica Cox |
The psychology graduate can write, type, drive a car, brush her hair and talk on her phone simply using her feet. Ms Cox, from Tuscon, Arizona, USA, is also a former dancer and double black belt in Tae Kwon-Do.
CBJ AMEBO: CROCODILES, OTHERS TAKE OVER THE STREETS OF MAKURDI AS FLOODS PERSIST
 |
| Crocodile in water |
With houses submerged in the floods and the risk of Crocodiles swimming into peoples’ homes, the imminent dangers cannot be ignored as God forbid one is swimming away to safety only to encounter a Crocodile!
The relevant government agency in this case, National Emergency Management Agency (NEMA) and other inter-related agencies should please redouble their efforts in evacuating stranded Nigerians from these areas as a matter of urgency.
Culled: 247 Nigerianewsupdate
CBJ AMEBO: GUNMEN STORM UNIJOS CAMPUS, SOME STUDENTS REPORTEDLY SHOT
Reports from Plateau State say that unknown gunmen this evening stormed the University of Jos and shot several students, leaving at least two female students dead.
Although details are sketchy, our sources say that several others escaped with injuries.
A source told SaharaReporters there is tension on the campus as hundreds of students were seen running for their lives, unwilling to wait for an explanation as to what had led to the shootings.
The source said that armed security personnel have already been dispatched to the university, but the identity of the attackers and their motives are still unknown.
As of the time of this report, neither the Plateau State Police Command, nor the Special Task Force nor the management of the university has issued a statement concerning the attack.
Culled: Sahara Reporters
Sep 26, 2012
I BET NIGERIANS ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH
Man lay on a bench hanging out with his friend who came visiting in a canoe after flood took over his hometown in Etsako Central LGA, Edo state.
I tell you, if there's anything aside crude that people can export from Nigeria/Africa, it's HAPPINESS even in the midst of hardship.
Do u think it's easy to catch ur fun even in hardship?
I DON'T THINK SO!
NIGERIANS/AFRICANS ARE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH!
GOD BLESS NIGERIA
BEWARE OF 419ERS
ENJOY THIS
Bad Market for 419er subdued by a friend (Ayo).
Excerpt.......
Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?
Ayo: Fine. Pls, who am I speaking with?
Mr. 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in UK dat could be calling?
(Sensing a scam, Ayo threw in a trap…)
Ayo: Johnson! Is that you?
(Meanwhile, Ayo doesn't know any Johnson in UK)
(Thinking it's a break, he swallows the bait)
Mr. 419: Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognize my voice initially?
(Ayo certain it's a scam, he decided to punish him verbally and financially. He had the time that morning so he was going to assist him waste his call credit.)
Ayo: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni o! (You are a very bad boy). Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e o! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his demise? He was so bitter and full of original and heavy curses for you.
Mr. 419 (Obviously subdued): I didn't hear. I would have come.
Ayo: Too bad. You heard your mama has leprosy too? You didn't hear about that, abi?
Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.
Ayo: (Enjoying himself thoroughly) Too bad! Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?
Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…
(breaking in before he begins his story)
Ayo: Ah! Jooohnson, O se mi o (you offended me). I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? U want me to curse you too like ur father did? I don't have his kind of patience o! I'm sure u know. I won't wait that long before I give u what u deserve. Epe buruku niun se fun o! (I'll pronounce wicked curses on u)
Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important..
Ayo: Shut up!! When are u sending money home? Haba! We sent u to school, clothed u and sent u abroad, Are u now a 419?
(PHONE CUTS)
CBJ AMEBO: USHER, ESTELLE + R. KELLY LEAD NOMINEE (2012 SOUL TRAIN AWARDS)
Usher leads the pack of nominees for the
2012 Soul Train Awards with five nominations, including Album of the
Year for ‘Looking 4 Myself.’ Following behind Usher is R&B songbird
Estelle with three nods including Song of the Year (‘Thank You’).
R. Kelly also nabbed two mentions and
received the unique honor of being the most-nominated artist in the
history of the Soul Train Awards. According to Wikipedia, Kels has won a
total of six Soul Train honors since the award show’s inception in
1999, and has been honored with both the prestigious Quincy Jones and
Stevie Wonder Awards.
CBJ AMEBO: SUNNY NNEJI COMPLETES NEW STUDIO
 |
| Sunny Nneji |
Oruka crooner, Sunny Nneji has put finishing touches to is newly built private studio at his monster pad home at Magodo.
According to our sources, this studio is so
uber-special, setting it up cost no less than few millions.
While the
“Oruka”singer handled the purchase of the equipment, the installation
was handled by none other than Dan Jiggy, who is currently working on a
new album.
Culled: Nigezie
WORDS YOU CAN ONLY HEAR FROM A NAIJA!! (Add urs)
1. Insult upon injury
2. Nonsense and Ingredient
3. If I sound u ehh, I will soon slap you
4. How Far?
5. Can I see your particulars?
6. Anything for me sir?
7. Are you mad?
8. Half-caste
9. Next tomorrow
10. Make I come block you dia
11. Lie, Lie
12. See me see trouble oh
13. Shift small for me lemme sit
14. Abeg vamus / Abeg commot
15. Nonsense say wetin happen
16. Abomination
17. Over my dead body
18. God forbid bad thing
19. I need to retouch my (h)air
20. Any word with 'bloody' e.g. bloody fool, bloody liar, bloody idiot
Sep 25, 2012
CBJ AMEBO: FUNNY!!! ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT BUSTED TRYING TO SNEAK INTO SPAIN DISGUISED AS A CAR SEAT
This is the moment an illegal immigrant was busted trying to enter Spain despite his best efforts of pretending to be a car seat.
Vigilant police caught the 20-year-old man from Guinea attempting to sneak into the Spanish enclave of Melilla from Morocco over the Beni-Enzar crossing on Friday.
He was hidden inside a Renault 7's passenger seat, with the co-driver sat on top of him.
The two Moroccan men, aged 21 and 23, who allegedly tried to smuggle him across the border were arrested and will appear before a court accused of people smuggling later this week.
The man was also detained and appeared before a judge. He has now been expelled from the enclave.
Culled: Daily Mail
CBJ AMEBO: WANDE ADALEMO - FROM UNIVERSITY DROPOUT TO ICT MILLIONAIRE
 |
| Wande |
The Co-Founder and Chief Operating Officer, Oxygen Broadband Networks, Nigeria’s first metro WiFi network, Mr. Wande Adalemo, is a young man who aspired to be a university graduate and get a job. But an event in 1998 changed the course of his life and he decided to pursue his dream of building an Internet company.
CBJ AMEBO: WOMAN STEALS BABY DURING NIGHT VIGIL IN CHURCH
 |
| The woman |
The lady, according to police sources, had attended a church service on the fateful day and had picked a baby where she had been laid while her mother was praying in front of the altar.
Click on 'Read more'
CBJ AMEBO: AGAIN!!! WOMAN GIVES BIRTH TO GOAT LOOKING BABY WITH NO NECK
Sources sent in that a woman just delivered a goat looking baby in General hospital Jahun,
Jigawa State.
The baby which is still on the hospital bed at the time of this report has goat legs and no neck.
Naija na wa oo...
NOTE: UNCENSORED PICTURE BELOW and VIEWERS DISCRETION ADVISED
Click on 'Read more' to see the UNCENSORED PICTURE
The baby which is still on the hospital bed at the time of this report has goat legs and no neck.
Naija na wa oo...
NOTE: UNCENSORED PICTURE BELOW and VIEWERS DISCRETION ADVISED
Click on 'Read more' to see the UNCENSORED PICTURE
PG 18+ (Readers' discretion advised as this may cause headache)
A thread like this was do about 4 months back.
Let's did it again.
Everyday, we hearing different mistaking people make while spoke our beloved English Language.
Let's drop them here.
Replies too can murder the Language, hence good English is prohibited!.
We will started with a letter we gotted in our office three days ago from a former staff.
Enjoy!.
APPLICATION FOR RE-EMPLOYMENT
I am very happy to write this message to you, Sir.
My name is Musa Chinedu Babatunde i'm the one that was work
for you, before in group H, but I was going my village to done one programme, that is the why i am absent, but I was come back to the Warri last week. I'm not see any job to do,
I want you to re-imploy me sir.
May almighty God give you a lot of successfully and giveth you more progress and prosperity. I will thanks if u can re - imploy me back, sir.
Thanks
08109252012.
Everyone in the office was just laugh and laugh.
Sep 24, 2012
FUN+ RAIN SEMESTER EXAM
TIME ALLOWED: 2hrs
INSTRUCTION: STUDY THE PICTURE BELOW AND ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS.
The pix shows Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon
Q1: Is honorable a Politician or a Comedian? (20 MARKS)
Q2: Using Pythagoras Theorem, calculate the length of his trouser.
(20 MARKS)
Q3: Looking carefully at his trouser, who sewed it? (20 MARKS)
Q4: If you are to sew gown out of the trouser, how many yards will be remaining? Take pi = 3.14 (20 MARKS)
Q5: Using law of Ratio and Proportion, what is the ratio of his vocabulary to the Area of the trouser? (20 MARKS)
Your time starts now.
GOODLUCK!
MOVIES (Clue included)
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you"
How many know the movie from which this quote was taken?
FUN+ (Reader's discretion is advised and note that this is just a JOKE)
A Yoruba man was asked to combine a sentence with the words, GREEN, YELLOW, AND PINK.
Then the Yoruba man said, "Every time I hear the phone ring GREEN GREEN, I PINK it up and say 'YELLOW'."
MORE FUN @: http://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
Then the Yoruba man said, "Every time I hear the phone ring GREEN GREEN, I PINK it up and say 'YELLOW'."
MORE FUN @: http://www.facebook.com/CentralBankofJokes
MISSING CHILD IN ABUJA
Message from the little baby's family...
Toniloba Obafemi (9 months old baby) and his parents went to church, RCCG, Central parish, Wuse II, Abuja, yesterday Sunday September 23rd.
Toniloba went missing in church and was last seen with Comfort Amos, a member of the choir, and a known long-term member of the Church.
The recent update on the issue is that her SIM has been traced to Jos.
In case of any useful info, contact should be made to the child's parents 08075672060 and 08064966277 or the nearest police station.
Please do assist us in the search.
CBJ AMEBO: FLOOD... FRSC CLOSES LOKOJA-ABUJA HIGHWAY
 |
| Lokoja Flood |
Mr Mohammed Garuba, the kogi State sector commander of the FRSC, said that the decision to close the highway was to ensure safety of lives.
The highway had since last week been flooded because of the rise in water level from the River Niger.
He said the commission arrived at the decision following the continued rise in the level at the Banda village, two kilometres to Lokoja, the Kogi state capital, adding that the movement of vehicles on the road had become "completely impossible"
He said that the road would remain closed until the commission could guarantee safe vehicular movement.
CBJ AMEBO: JEEEZZ!! BRIDE DIES IN AN ACCIDENT ON HER WAY TO CHURCH FOR WEDDING
The day was bright, it was bright and fair. A happy day, a day of joy for Miss Bisioye Adegbite who was heading for the altar to say ‘I DO’ to her dream man.
After several months of preparations with family members and friends, little did Miss Adegbite know that she would never take the marital vows.
MEMORIES
 |
| Wardrobe Tv |
DO YOU STILL REMEMBER THIS WARDROBE TV?
THE GOOD OLD DAYS!!!
Meeehnn, those were the days when it was hard work switching between channels, no remote, u have to climb the roof to adjust the antenna.
How many remember?
LESSON: ONE MOVE
A 10-year-old boy decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.
The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master.
The boy was doing well, so he couldn’t understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only ONE MOVE.
Sensei = Teacher in Japanese
The boy then said,
“Shouldn’t I be learning more moves?”
“This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you’ll ever need to know,” the sensei replied.
Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.
Sep 23, 2012
CBJ AMEBO: JEEZ!!! HOW THREE POLICEMEN ASSAULT A 15-YEAR-OLD GIRL INSIDE STATION
A closer scrutiny reveals Miss Chidinma is a troubled teen. She has been sexually abused serially by those least expected. Her life may never remain the same again.
The April sun was going to bed. Somewhere around Isheri, a Lagos suburb, a 15-year-old girl too was hurrying homeward. She looked around and sat at the front of a house. It was a decision that would affect her life. Not long after, a young man approached her, offering to help. The unsuspecting girl took the extended hand of help. A few hours later the young man molested her. Not only that, she was prevented from leaving the house.
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