So, take the following test presented here.
OK, relax, clear your mind and, lets begin.
Don't scroll down until you have the answer and don't cheat!
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1. What do you put in a toaster?
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Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, "bread," go to Question 2.
(Click on 'Read more')
Sep 8, 2012
BABA IJEBU
A 90yr old woman won N10,000,000 in 'BABA IJEBU' loto & the family members were afraid to break the news to her.
Dr Akpors - a popular counselor & practicing medical personnel was consulted to professionally give her the news to avoid any casualties.
"Maam" he said "What will u do if u win N10,000,000?"
The woman replied,
"I'll give u half of the money"
Dr Akpors fainted!
Dr Akpors - a popular counselor & practicing medical personnel was consulted to professionally give her the news to avoid any casualties.
"Maam" he said "What will u do if u win N10,000,000?"
The woman replied,
"I'll give u half of the money"
Dr Akpors fainted!
CBJ AMEBO: WOMAN FALLS FROM THE SKY?
The house is behind Redeemed Christian Church of God, Eagle Island, Port Harcourt, Rivers State.
They said after she fell, she started crying and speaking a language nobody could understand.
Usually with stories like this we hear of mob action. But nobody tried to beat this woman. People were too scared to go near her. Thank God for that!
Some would remember story of 11 year old boy that was set ablaze some years back in Surulere, after some people claimed he fell from the sky?
Fashola arrested quite a number of people for his murder, but were all later released.
Do you believe this is true? Are there really flying witches at night? I'm short of words here.
CBJ AMEBO: BEAUTIFUL SAN BOLDO PASS (ITALY)
There are six tunnels blasted into the rock with hairpin turns or loops, and six bridges.
It is nicknamed the "Street of the 100 days" because of its short construction period.
ORDINARY WRAPPER, YOU NO FIT CLIMB...
A pretty lady got stranded, so she arrived Lagos at about 12 midnight. She come begin follow okada people wey still dey work late talk. One okada guy come finally agree to take her home so she can pass the night...
When dem reach the okada guy house, as na only one 6 spring bed dey there, the woman take her wrapper demarcate her side from the okada guy...
As day break finish, dem begin waka comot for house and the okada guy begin help the woman trace her final destination. Wind come blow the woman's scarf over the fence of a house by road side...
Na so the okada guy pack immediately.
Lady: Wetin happen?
Okada Guy: I dey try climb the fence to help you pick your scarf from inside that house...
Lady: Leave that thing abeg, ORDINARY WRAPPER DEY THERE FOR NIGHT WEY YOU NO FIT CLIMB, NA NOW YOU WON CLIMB FENCE? Make we dey go joor!
When dem reach the okada guy house, as na only one 6 spring bed dey there, the woman take her wrapper demarcate her side from the okada guy...
As day break finish, dem begin waka comot for house and the okada guy begin help the woman trace her final destination. Wind come blow the woman's scarf over the fence of a house by road side...
Na so the okada guy pack immediately.
Lady: Wetin happen?
Okada Guy: I dey try climb the fence to help you pick your scarf from inside that house...
Lady: Leave that thing abeg, ORDINARY WRAPPER DEY THERE FOR NIGHT WEY YOU NO FIT CLIMB, NA NOW YOU WON CLIMB FENCE? Make we dey go joor!
FUN + (LENGTHY BUT, FALLING OFF YOUR SIT GUARANTEED)
WITH LOVE FROM PHCN (An ordeal of a cyber cafe Operator)
PHCN = Power Holding Company of Nigeria
PHCN = NEPA
“These crazy people”
My boss huffed under his breath.
PHCN had done exactly what they knew how to do best.
The problem with this for me was that the cybercafé where I worked as an attendant was at the top floor of a three storeyed building.
Following a fire scare the previous year, the landlord had insisted that all generators were to be situated on the ground floor.
Meaning that each time someone’s fingers got itchy at PHCN, I would have to go down and climb back up an exhausting flight of stairs.
The problem with the absence of power for my boss was having to hear the customers moan and whinge, something, he had told me in confidence, he hated even more than PHCN (and my boss hated PHCN with more than a passion).
“Na wa o”, moaned a customer, as if on cue.
The computer he was using had gone off because the UPS it was connected to was bad.
“Upon all the money wey una dey collet for pesin hand, una no fit by korret GPS.”
“It’s called a UPS,” I heard my boss mutter before saying aloud to the man, “sorry sir, power will be back just as soon as we turn on the generator.”
PHCN = Power Holding Company of Nigeria
PHCN = NEPA
“These crazy people”
My boss huffed under his breath.
PHCN had done exactly what they knew how to do best.
The problem with this for me was that the cybercafé where I worked as an attendant was at the top floor of a three storeyed building.
Following a fire scare the previous year, the landlord had insisted that all generators were to be situated on the ground floor.
Meaning that each time someone’s fingers got itchy at PHCN, I would have to go down and climb back up an exhausting flight of stairs.
The problem with the absence of power for my boss was having to hear the customers moan and whinge, something, he had told me in confidence, he hated even more than PHCN (and my boss hated PHCN with more than a passion).
“Na wa o”, moaned a customer, as if on cue.
The computer he was using had gone off because the UPS it was connected to was bad.
“Upon all the money wey una dey collet for pesin hand, una no fit by korret GPS.”
“It’s called a UPS,” I heard my boss mutter before saying aloud to the man, “sorry sir, power will be back just as soon as we turn on the generator.”
Sep 7, 2012
COMMON SENSE
The people waiting to cross the road or the sheep using the pedestrian bridge?
CBJ AMEBO: REGISTER FOR WORLD MISS UNIVERSITY NIGERIA
Registration is currently going for the New Queen.
You can visit : www.wmunoc.net for more details.
CBJ AMEBO: CHRIS BROWN KISSES RIHANNA AT MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
COMMON INSCRIPTIONS FOUND ON NIGERIAN VEHICLES
1. Unmadi abu chukwu
2. Be careful many have gone
3. Horn before overtaking
4. Ka so layo
5. Let them say
6. Matagbamole 1
7. Oba bi olorun kosi
8. BRF fo govnor
9. Ijaya lomo,
10. kinihun alhaji,
11. No standing
12. Any die na die
13. No king as God
Keep it rolling...
2. Be careful many have gone
3. Horn before overtaking
4. Ka so layo
5. Let them say
6. Matagbamole 1
7. Oba bi olorun kosi
8. BRF fo govnor
9. Ijaya lomo,
10. kinihun alhaji,
11. No standing
12. Any die na die
13. No king as God
Keep it rolling...
CBJ AMEBO: AGBANI DAREGO LAUNCHES PERSONAL WEBSITE
Check it out: http://agbanidarego.com/
Sep 6, 2012
FUN+
10 mad men were locked up in a chicken yard.
9 of them started Jumping up and down and screaming.
However, one of them was just sitting quietly at one corner of the yard!
Doctor Akpors on seeing this went towards him, and whispered,
"I'm glad for you, I can see that it's only you among these 10 patients who has regained mental sanity... Now we'll discharge you soon."
The man quickly replied,
"Hey!!! Shhhhhh!!!... keep quiet, am trying to lay eggs here."
LOBATAN!
9 of them started Jumping up and down and screaming.
However, one of them was just sitting quietly at one corner of the yard!
Doctor Akpors on seeing this went towards him, and whispered,
"I'm glad for you, I can see that it's only you among these 10 patients who has regained mental sanity... Now we'll discharge you soon."
The man quickly replied,
"Hey!!! Shhhhhh!!!... keep quiet, am trying to lay eggs here."
LOBATAN!
CBJ AMEBO: MAN KILLED FOR RITUAL BY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS
From TUNDE RAHEEM Akure
Detectives from Ondo State Police Command are investigating the mystery behind the bizarre act of three highly placed personalities that killed their childhood friend for ritual sacrifice.
The suspects are Chief Babatunde Olumofe, who works for a bottling company based in Lagos; Mr. Sunday Akeju; and another PERSON simply identified as Eso.
They were all said to be childhood friends and own their personal houses on the same street in Ikorodu, a suburb of Lagos.
Detectives from Ondo State Police Command are investigating the mystery behind the bizarre act of three highly placed personalities that killed their childhood friend for ritual sacrifice.
The suspects are Chief Babatunde Olumofe, who works for a bottling company based in Lagos; Mr. Sunday Akeju; and another PERSON simply identified as Eso.
They were all said to be childhood friends and own their personal houses on the same street in Ikorodu, a suburb of Lagos.
EFIKO!
Class Teacher: "Differentiate between Biology and Sociology"
Akpors: "If a new born baby looks like his father, it is 'Biology', but if he looks like his neighbor, then, it is called 'Sociology'"
The result is yet to come out.
What do u think Akpors would score? Rate in % (Total of 100%)
Akpors: "If a new born baby looks like his father, it is 'Biology', but if he looks like his neighbor, then, it is called 'Sociology'"
The result is yet to come out.
What do u think Akpors would score? Rate in % (Total of 100%)
CBJ AMEBO: JOEL SET TO DROP DEBUT ALBUM
FUN+ (Note that this is meant to be a JOKE)
Shinji Kagawa who doesn't speak good English, prepares answers in advance for interviews after match!
*One post match interview*
Reporter: "Kagawa, it's fantastic, your wife is pregnant. I must say congratulations!"
Kagawa: "Yes, all credits go to my team mates. Everyone worked hard for it especially Ryan Gigs .It was a tight situation when he came in, his performance was great especially with Scholes in the middle. Our coach also enjoyed it. Special thanks for Carrick for finding space from impossibly tight angles. It wouldn't have been possible without him."
LOBATAN!
*One post match interview*
Reporter: "Kagawa, it's fantastic, your wife is pregnant. I must say congratulations!"
Kagawa: "Yes, all credits go to my team mates. Everyone worked hard for it especially Ryan Gigs .It was a tight situation when he came in, his performance was great especially with Scholes in the middle. Our coach also enjoyed it. Special thanks for Carrick for finding space from impossibly tight angles. It wouldn't have been possible without him."
LOBATAN!
LET'S PAINT THE SCENE HERE
So they are back to his house and she wants to go home early.
What do you think she is saying to him right now?
Holler back!!!
CBJ AMEBO: JAPANESE CHEF COOKS AND SERVES HIS OWN GENITALS
This story is not for the faint of heart. News video below.
Mao Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month, Calorie Lab reported.
In most cases, “asexual” is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.
Sugiyama sparked a firestorm of interest on April 8 with one tweet: “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location.”
Mao Sugiyama, a self-described “asexual” from Tokyo, cooked up, seasoned and served his own genitalia to five diners at a swanky banquet in Japan last month, Calorie Lab reported.
In most cases, “asexual” is a word used to describe a person who is non-sexual. Sugiyama, however, embraces it as a way to show that he does not affiliate with either gender.
Sugiyama sparked a firestorm of interest on April 8 with one tweet: “[Please retweet] I am offering my male genitals (full penis, testes, scrotum) as a meal for 100,000 yen …Will prepare and cook as the buyer requests, at his chosen location.”
LEARNING AFTER UNPROMISING BEGINNINGS
“A boy was expelled from his Latin class for slow learning. He resolved to excel in English where he was slow in Latin. He was Winston Churchill, he served as Prime Minister twice (1940–45 and 1951–55) in Britain.”
“A six-year-old boy was sent home from school with a note saying he was too stupid to learn. His name was Thomas Edison, an American inventor and businessman who developed many devices that greatly influenced life around the world, including the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and a long-lasting, practical electric light bulb.”
“A six-year-old boy was sent home from school with a note saying he was too stupid to learn. His name was Thomas Edison, an American inventor and businessman who developed many devices that greatly influenced life around the world, including the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and a long-lasting, practical electric light bulb.”
FUN+ RELOADED
TOP SINS COMMITTED ON FB
You're are drinking ice water & you update "I'm drinking Johnny Walker on the rocks or Champaign" ...God is watching you
You're in the house watching super story on NTA but your update on facebook says “Watching EXPANDABLES 3 at the cinema” ...God is watching you
You're are drinking ice water & you update "I'm drinking Johnny Walker on the rocks or Champaign" ...God is watching you
You're in the house watching super story on NTA but your update on facebook says “Watching EXPANDABLES 3 at the cinema” ...God is watching you
You sell recharge cards by d
road side & you update your status on facebook as "had a long day
in the office" ...God is watching you
You are using some fake Chinese techno phone with 3 sim cards and you update your status "My laptop is slow" ...God is watching you
Your real name is Chinedu or Danladi and on facebook you call yourself Nigga Jay Zee, Big Rick Ross, Young Money Wayne, Cash Money Drake ...God is watching you
Keep it rolling...
You are using some fake Chinese techno phone with 3 sim cards and you update your status "My laptop is slow" ...God is watching you
Your real name is Chinedu or Danladi and on facebook you call yourself Nigga Jay Zee, Big Rick Ross, Young Money Wayne, Cash Money Drake ...God is watching you
Keep it rolling...
Sep 5, 2012
TRACE TASK
Which of the holes will u pass through?
1, 2 or 3.
CBJ AMEBO: POLICE ARREST MASQUERADE, FOUR OTHERS DURING ROBBERY
The masquerade, who identified himself as Sunday
Osalusi, 24, was said to have worn the masquerade costume of
‘Sinrinminyin’ to Stadium Area of Ado-Ekiti where he and other members
of his gang unleashed terror on the residents.
The Police Public Relations Officer of the command,
Mr. Victor Babayemi, while parading the suspects on Tuesday told
journalists that the leader of the gang, Odunayo Kolawole, was shot dead
during the shoot-out with the policemen.
The PPRO gave the name of other members of the gang as Deji Owolabi, Ayodeji Obamoyegun, Peter Akinwale and Oluwatosin Adefemi.
Two other members of the gang who were reported to have escaped are Danjuma Saheed and Oguntayo Saheed.
WHAT A FAMILY!
Mrs Akpors went to see her doctor with her husband accompanying her.
She was thin, tired and exhausted.
The doctor ask her, woman, why are u like this? I expected to see a good result from your body but am seeing another thing, what happened?
MR AKPORS: Doctor abeg ask am oo, I don’t know for her.
She was thin, tired and exhausted.
The doctor ask her, woman, why are u like this? I expected to see a good result from your body but am seeing another thing, what happened?
MR AKPORS: Doctor abeg ask am oo, I don’t know for her.
MRS AKPORS: Doctor am tired of this.
DOCTOR: What do u mean by that?
MRS AKPORS: I said it's too much for me, can you reduce the number for me?
DOCTOR: But tell me, are u taking prescriptions as I instructed?
MRS AKPORS: Yes doctor and I never miss it once, three men always help me for that, my husband, our house-boy and my husband’s friend.
DOCTOR: 3 meals a day?
MRS AKPORS: Aahhh Sorry Doctor... I thought you said 3 males a day.
MR AKPORS: YEPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Mr Akpors is fast recovering from shock)
DOCTOR: What do u mean by that?
MRS AKPORS: I said it's too much for me, can you reduce the number for me?
DOCTOR: But tell me, are u taking prescriptions as I instructed?
MRS AKPORS: Yes doctor and I never miss it once, three men always help me for that, my husband, our house-boy and my husband’s friend.
DOCTOR: 3 meals a day?
MRS AKPORS: Aahhh Sorry Doctor... I thought you said 3 males a day.
MR AKPORS: YEPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
(Mr Akpors is fast recovering from shock)
CBJ AMEBO: FACEBOOK, TWITTER FRIENDS RAISE N6M FOR CANCER PATIENT
Her friends on Twiter had harnessed the social media site to raise over N6m for the cancer patient for overseas treatment.
PUNCH Metro learnt that Idiagbonya needed N6m for her breast cancer surgery, which is to be conducted at the Maryland Teaching Hospital, Baltimore, United States.
CBJ AMEBO: SHOCKING!!! AMERICAN SUPERSTAR, NICKI MINAJ IS STILL A VIRGIN?
"I never gave up my box, I put that on my life. Yes, and I encourage all my young Barbies to do the same. I just don't have time."
LOBATAN!
OH MY OH MY...GOOD AS DEAD!
Akpors' new girlfriend asks him to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend -Akpors that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, Akpors is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps Akpors for about an hour.
He tells him everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks Akpors how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
Akpors insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, Akpors shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
Akpors goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
Akpors quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and Akpors is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from Akpors who's now sweating profusely.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to him,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
Akpors turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
LOBATAN!
TIE BA!
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend -Akpors that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
Well, Akpors is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps Akpors for about an hour.
He tells him everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks Akpors how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
Akpors insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, Akpors shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
Akpors goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
Akpors quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and Akpors is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from Akpors who's now sweating profusely.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to him,
"I had no idea you were this religious."
Akpors turns, and whispers back,
"I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
LOBATAN!
TIE BA!
HEALTH TIPS
5 THINGS TO OBSERVE BEFORE SLEEPING
1 – DON’T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.
2 – DON’T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.
3 – DON’T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
4 – DON’T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will
also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
Lastly & most importantly,
5 – DON’T SLEEP WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S WIFE/HUSBAND
You may never wake up again...lmao
1 – DON’T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.
2 – DON’T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.
3 – DON’T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used.
These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.
4 – DON’T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will
also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.
Lastly & most importantly,
5 – DON’T SLEEP WITH OTHER PEOPLE’S WIFE/HUSBAND
You may never wake up again...lmao
CBJ AMEBO: (P SQUARE)PETER OKOYE'S SURPRISE PARTY FOR LOLA OMOTAYO IN LAGOS
On Sunday 2nd September, Peter Okoye threw a surprise birthday party for his longtime girlfriend and mother of his son, Lola Omotayo at Westfoster Harbour on Queens Drive in Ikoyi, Lagos.
The birthday girl, who is presently pregnant with the couple’s second child, looked glam in a black dress with a brown sequined skirt. She accessorized her look with drop down chandelier earrings, black necklace and a sleek side hair do.
CBJ AMEBO: R KELLY
For all information about the tour - On Sale Dates, Ticket Prices, Ticket Links - Go to the following link:
on.fb.me/OU7Chx
Chei, see enjoyment for single ladies. Married ladies, make una no go divorce o.
CBJ AMEBO: 24-YEAR-OLD NIGERIA UNDERGRADUATE BUILDS WORKING HELICOPTER FROM JUNK
While some of the parts have been sourced from a crashed 747, the chopper contains all sorts of surprises.
Sep 4, 2012
GBEGE!!!
Mr Akpors was starved of sex because his wife had put 2 birth through CS.
One day, the wife said,
"my Love, I know how u must be feeling because of my condition; abeg take this N2000 and look for someone and satisfy urself"
Mr Akpors (not hesitating one bit) collected the money and left, but returned after 30 mins.
The wife said,
"Hia! So soon?"
Mr Akpors answered,
"I no go far, I just enter this our neighbour house!"
And the wife asked,
"I hope say she no collect money?"
Mr Akpors said,
"she collected o"
The wife exclaimed,
"Abi she dey craze? Abeg hold this pickin for me, make I go meet am; d time wey she born pickin new, I help her husband free."
LOBATAN!
Mr Akpors is still recovering from coma.
One day, the wife said,
"my Love, I know how u must be feeling because of my condition; abeg take this N2000 and look for someone and satisfy urself"
Mr Akpors (not hesitating one bit) collected the money and left, but returned after 30 mins.
The wife said,
"Hia! So soon?"
Mr Akpors answered,
"I no go far, I just enter this our neighbour house!"
And the wife asked,
"I hope say she no collect money?"
Mr Akpors said,
"she collected o"
The wife exclaimed,
"Abi she dey craze? Abeg hold this pickin for me, make I go meet am; d time wey she born pickin new, I help her husband free."
LOBATAN!
Mr Akpors is still recovering from coma.
THERE IS LOVE IN SHARING
You know it is often preached that it is good
to share. That is why we want to share two things with you today. The
first is a joke and the second is recharge card…
(A)… Kpekus stole N100,000, which he keeps with Akpors on the agreement that he will give Akpors N10,000 out of the stolen money. Kpekus‘s boss, Ayo, finds that his money is missing, and knowing that Akpor
(A)… Kpekus stole N100,000, which he keeps with Akpors on the agreement that he will give Akpors N10,000 out of the stolen money. Kpekus‘s boss, Ayo, finds that his money is missing, and knowing that Akpor
s is very close to Kpekus, he decides to strike a deal with Akpors direct…
Ayo: Akpors, my money is missing, and I suspect your friend Kpekus.
Akpors: Aba, big boss, Kpekus no go fit do that kind thing naah.
Ayo: ok, let's strike a deal.
Akpors: hmm, ...
(B)… 8788 99
So, we have shared half joke with you and half recharge card… there is love in sharing! Enjoy your day. You don’t have to thank us for this gesture at all. Stay blessed. We love y’all!
Ayo: Akpors, my money is missing, and I suspect your friend Kpekus.
Akpors: Aba, big boss, Kpekus no go fit do that kind thing naah.
Ayo: ok, let's strike a deal.
Akpors: hmm, ...
(B)… 8788 99
So, we have shared half joke with you and half recharge card… there is love in sharing! Enjoy your day. You don’t have to thank us for this gesture at all. Stay blessed. We love y’all!
CBJ AMEBO: FUNKE AKINDELE PREGNANT?
Yoruba actress Funke Akindele-Oloyede spotted yesterday at the Nigerian Entertainment Awards which held in New York looking pregnant.
She must born twins noni.
CBJ AMEBO: MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN IS DEAD ('GREEN MILE' ACTOR)...EEYAHH!
His publicist released a statement from his fiancee Omarosa
Manigault-Stallworth, saying the actor died Monday morning in a Los
Angeles hospital after nearly two months of treatment in response to a
heart attack July 13.
Duncan is best known for his performance in the 1999 prison drama "The Green Mile," starring Tom Hanks. The Oscar-nominated actor has also appeared in "Armageddon," "The Scorpion King," and "Sin City."
Duncan is best known for his performance in the 1999 prison drama "The Green Mile," starring Tom Hanks. The Oscar-nominated actor has also appeared in "Armageddon," "The Scorpion King," and "Sin City."
May his soul rest in peace.
Sep 3, 2012
MONEY CANNOT WASTE
FUN+ (Popular demand)
Just enjoy it...
MONEY CANNOT WASTE
U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil one egg N30, all na N45...
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy 5 Alive N250, I buy orange+mango+pineapple N80 naira..my own get natural nutrient..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
Nepa cut ur light, U pay sharp sharp, I wait, climb d pole for nite fix my wire back..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell chocolate which already contains all d sugar...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him CD N150, stay room play and sing along..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema and I dey chop ground nut of N20 cinema..shey our mouth dey move, movie dey show go!
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy paraga N20, Am super active...mtcheww
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add squaddy, all ną red wine...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100 xpression attachment, I fine pass you...n guys don't know d difference..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same..
#MoneyCannotWaste...
You buy BOLD 5 95k, I buy curve2 35k, shey all of us dey ping?
Mtchewww..
Keep it rolling...
Just enjoy it...
MONEY CANNOT WASTE
U buy eggroll N150, I buy buns N15, boil one egg N30, all na N45...
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy 5 Alive N250, I buy orange+mango+pineapple N80 naira..my own get natural nutrient..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
Nepa cut ur light, U pay sharp sharp, I wait, climb d pole for nite fix my wire back..
#MoneyCannotWaste.
U buy milo, milk and sugar, I buy cowbell chocolate which already contains all d sugar...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay 5k go watch MI for show, I buy him CD N150, stay room play and sing along..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U dey chop pop corn of N1000 for cinema and I dey chop ground nut of N20 cinema..shey our mouth dey move, movie dey show go!
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy red bull N300 to become active, I buy paraga N20, Am super active...mtcheww
#MoneyCannotWaste
U buy rosé (red wine), I buy zobo and add squaddy, all ną red wine...
#MoneyCannotWaste
U fix 100k brazillian hair, I buy N100 xpression attachment, I fine pass you...n guys don't know d difference..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U go club for VI, buy hennesey of 40k, Me go one joint, buy alomo N200..all na highness..
#MoneyCannotWaste
U pay N50 to watch match in a viewing centre, I stand outside to watch d match all na d same..
#MoneyCannotWaste...
You buy BOLD 5 95k, I buy curve2 35k, shey all of us dey ping?
Mtchewww..
Keep it rolling...
CBJ AMEBO: YORUBA ACTRESS SEUN OGUNLADE IS DEAD
May her soul rest in peace.
MATHEMATICAL GAME
HAVE FUN
If
A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, F=6, G=7, H=8, I=9, J=10, K=11, L=12, M=13, N=14, O=15, P=16, Q=17, R=18, S=19, T=20, U=21, V=22, W=23, X=24, Y=25 and Z=26. As in alphabet!!!
Now calculate your name!(Adding corresponding values of the letters together)
Representing each number as per %.
If
A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4, E=5, F=6, G=7, H=8, I=9, J=10, K=11, L=12, M=13, N=14, O=15, P=16, Q=17, R=18, S=19, T=20, U=21, V=22, W=23, X=24, Y=25 and Z=26. As in alphabet!!!
Now calculate your name!(Adding corresponding values of the letters together)
Representing each number as per %.
Sep 2, 2012
COMFIRM MATHS
Teacher: 2 Books + 2 Books?
Akpors: 4 Books
Teacher: Now I'll ask you a tough one 1,789,365 Books + 23,678 Books…?
Akpors: LIBRARY.
GBAM!
Akpors: 4 Books
Teacher: Now I'll ask you a tough one 1,789,365 Books + 23,678 Books…?
Akpors: LIBRARY.
GBAM!
SEE!!!
Look make I just warn all of una.
If I hear say u no thank God enh!
243 days out of 365 na beans?
Boko Haram reach ur side?
U dey 4 Dana Crash?
God give u good health, no be so?
God no allow all dose witches and wizards 4 ur village get power over u, I lie?
Naija no good Naija no good u dey use BB, BB wit subscription 4 dat matter, no be true?
If at all u never get money buy Blackberry Porsche, d BB wey u get no dey ping?
Abi u don see where person wey dey comma dey ping?
Oya lie say u no dey 2go untop that Nokia.
Abi na blind man wan change DP?
Even if na torch light phone, u nor dey take am see for night?
ABEGI SHOPE TIE!
BABA GOD THANK YOU.
MORE FUN AT:
Twitter page: @CenBankofJokes
Mobile page: cbjokes.mobi
CBJ BLOG: centralbankofjokes.blogspot.com
If I hear say u no thank God enh!
243 days out of 365 na beans?
Boko Haram reach ur side?
U dey 4 Dana Crash?
God give u good health, no be so?
God no allow all dose witches and wizards 4 ur village get power over u, I lie?
Naija no good Naija no good u dey use BB, BB wit subscription 4 dat matter, no be true?
If at all u never get money buy Blackberry Porsche, d BB wey u get no dey ping?
Abi u don see where person wey dey comma dey ping?
Oya lie say u no dey 2go untop that Nokia.
Abi na blind man wan change DP?
Even if na torch light phone, u nor dey take am see for night?
ABEGI SHOPE TIE!
BABA GOD THANK YOU.
MORE FUN AT:
Twitter page: @CenBankofJokes
Mobile page: cbjokes.mobi
CBJ BLOG: centralbankofjokes.blogspot.com
DELIVER US FROM AKPORS
For a very long time, Akpors has been battling with a leak in his roof.
A faithful night, there was a heavy downpour when he had to move from one corner of the room to the other to avoid drops through his roof.
Hence, had a sleepless night.
The following morning, he decided to fix the roof.
After scouting for a ladder in his neighborhood, he climbed his roof.
Climbing wasn't anyway easy as he was panting and sweating.
As he was about setting off fixing the damage, he heard a knock on his door.
"Hello" he screams from the top of the roof.
A tattered looking beggar showed up on the other side of the roof and replied,
"Excuse me, can I see u?"
"What is it that u want to tell me?" Akpors requested.
"Just spare me a minute" the beggar requested.
Akpors hustled his way back to the ground, looking tired and demanded of the beggar,
"Ok, what can I do for u?"
"Can I get N20" requested the beggar.
Akpors retorts for about 30 secs, then told the beggar,
"Follow me"
Both began climbing the roof, panting and gasping for breath.
They both got to the top, now seriously panting for about 1 min.
Then Akpors turns to the beggar and said,
"I don't have!"
A faithful night, there was a heavy downpour when he had to move from one corner of the room to the other to avoid drops through his roof.
Hence, had a sleepless night.
The following morning, he decided to fix the roof.
After scouting for a ladder in his neighborhood, he climbed his roof.
Climbing wasn't anyway easy as he was panting and sweating.
As he was about setting off fixing the damage, he heard a knock on his door.
"Hello" he screams from the top of the roof.
A tattered looking beggar showed up on the other side of the roof and replied,
"Excuse me, can I see u?"
"What is it that u want to tell me?" Akpors requested.
"Just spare me a minute" the beggar requested.
Akpors hustled his way back to the ground, looking tired and demanded of the beggar,
"Ok, what can I do for u?"
"Can I get N20" requested the beggar.
Akpors retorts for about 30 secs, then told the beggar,
"Follow me"
Both began climbing the roof, panting and gasping for breath.
They both got to the top, now seriously panting for about 1 min.
Then Akpors turns to the beggar and said,
"I don't have!"
PARENTS AND THEIR WAYS!
"A father always knows better of everything than his son" says Akpors in an argument with his son.
Son: "Really? Then I'll ask u 'Who first invented electricity'?"
Akpors: "Thomas Alpha Edison did."
Son: "Good. If so, then why wasn't it Edison's father?"
Akpors replies: "Who invented Thomas Edison?"
Son: "His father"
Father: "EXACTLY MY POINT!!"
Son: "Really? Then I'll ask u 'Who first invented electricity'?"
Akpors: "Thomas Alpha Edison did."
Son: "Good. If so, then why wasn't it Edison's father?"
Akpors replies: "Who invented Thomas Edison?"
Son: "His father"
Father: "EXACTLY MY POINT!!"
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