MARRIAGE IN NAIJA.... WHAT U SHOULD KNOW!

From a very good friend Ayodeji Alaba Oladipo

Tired of waiting for your dream man? Tired of changing boyfriends like underwear? Tired of begging God to upgrade you? Tired of waiting for your boyfriend to propose? Tired of all the heartbreaks and betrayal? Tired of men chopping you for free? Tire no more… Statistics show that only 3% of single women of marriageable age in Nigeria
are undisturbed by their lack of a spouse! The other 97% would do just about anything to become Mrs somebody.

And when I say anything, I mean it… Here are the 21 rather unorthodox things ‘classy’ Nigerian women have done in their quest to bag a husband! Some are bizzare, some are skanky and some are downright sad…but if you’re willing to try anything and getting a husband is the only activity left on your bucket list, you might wanna try a few! (Men beware) #Not for the fainthearted…

In no particular order:

1. Snatching a friend or relation’s man. All is fair in love and war! Rumour has it that women have resorted to locking their phones, hiding their men and coding their gist from so-called friends cos it’s a jungle out there…

2. Re-inventing themselves. Pretence is the order of the day. No man wants to tame the shrew or teach the inexperienced or make an honest woman out of a dishonest one so once marriage is desired, women package themselves in pseudo, ready-made, easy-to-use, highly desirable packages. After marriage, what you see is what you get! #stepfordwifemode

3. Trapping him with pregnancy. This used to be the old school method of getting a man to propose. From skipping the pill to seducing the man or getting him drunk when she was ovulating, a woman usually knew she had the man where she wanted him once she missed her period even if there was no commitment. Now the guys are saying YES to baby mamas and YES to child support. Are the girls deterred? NO! The girls have stepped up their game by involving the parents and you know parents don’t like scandals…

4. Praying&Fasting. This would presumably be an honourable means of obtaining a husband but sometimes the prayers are offered up to deities other than God& other times it becomes a song permanently on repeat…

5. Taking his photograph to Cele church for a prophetess to pray over or a powerful Alfa. Heard it works like a charm..

6. Taking his sperm, hair or personal effects to Baba. Guys disposing of your condoms yourself is not such a bad idea…

7. Outright Jazz! My friends recently gisted me ’bout how a tied up, live pigeon had been discovered in a friend’s sister-in-law’s box. The woman confessed to using jazz and said she hadn’t been sure if the guy would actually propose so she took the necessary precaution…

8. Putting love potion in his food! This is classic and timeless but shouldn’t it be called a ‘compelling’ potion? Because in this case, love na by force!

9. Saying YES to a man you despise! A woman has two classes of men usually on her case. The ‘correct’ guys and the ‘disgos’. The disgos usually end up as magas or rebounds but many a woman has shocked a despondent toaster with a sudden ‘Yes’ and men have agreed that truly there is nothing God cannot do!

10. Proposing to a guy! Yes it does happen… (Who wears the engagement ring?)

11. Toasting a man’s family so they make the decision for him! A friend complained that a girl he detested had over the months gotten close to his family. Lavishing on them, cooking for them and basically being their ‘go-to’ girl